National Jewish Democratic Council, Michael Pfleger to Found New Religion

We heard that the National Jewish Democratic Council and Father Michael Pfleger have come up with the long-sought resolution to the Judeo-Christian controversy over the identity of the Messiah. Christians, of course, believe that Jesus was the Messiah (who will return one day), while Jews believe he is yet to come. There is a rumor that the National Jewish Democratic Council and Father Michael Pfleger have arrived at the perfect compromise solution, and common prayer.

Barack Hussein Adonai Eloheinu Melech ha’olam oseh ma’aseh vereshit.
Barack Hussein, Sovereign of the universe, Source of creation and its wonders.

Barack Obama, who art in Chicago,
Hallowed be thy Name.
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be done,
In America as it is in Illinois.
Give us this day our daily government benefits.
And forgive us the inherent and instinctive racism of all white people,
As we ignore and excuse the blatant racism of those with whom you surround yourself
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from Republicans and Whitey.
For thine is the kingdom,
and the power, and the glory,
for ever and ever.
Amen.

The proper idols for placement in synagogues (Eric Yoffie’s URJ will never notice the difference), and stained glass windows of the Messiah’s sacred image for churches, will doubtlessly soon be forthcoming.

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