All criminals, and anyone else needing fake identification, you now have the perfect place to get a genuine state-issued driver’s license: New York State. Just tell them you are an “undocumented immigrant,” and you will then get a genuine driver’s license courtesy of Governor Eliot Spitzer. Better hurry, though, because the Department of Homeland Security will probably shut the whole thing down once it wakes up to the security implications!
ALBANY – Defending his plan to give driver’s licenses to undocumented immigrants, Gov. Eliot Spitzer accused Republican critics yesterday of using “extremist rhetoric” to capitalize on still raw emotions surrounding the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks.
Spitzer, a Democrat, vowed to push forward with allowing license applicants to substitute a valid foreign passport and other records for the required Social Security card. Such documents are difficult to forge and will be scrutinized in a process taking up to six weeks, he said.
Who says the foreign passport will be forged? There are doubtlessly corrupt foreign officials who will issue valid ones to anybody, under any name the person chooses, for the right financial incentive. There are doubtlessly countries in which Osama bin Laden’s pocket change constitutes a year’s pay for an official who can issue a valid passport with all the proper stamps and signatures. Even domestic criminals with felony records will probably be able to create new identities for themselves in this manner. Convicted child molesters will, if they can come up with enough money for a foreign passport, probably be able to create new identities so as to avoid registration and monitoring requirements. Won’t it be great when school districts hire “undocumented Mexican” Uncle Ernie (see the rock musical Tommy for details) as a service worker in an elementary school?
The only upside to this is that the criminals will all gravitate to New York State, which is more than welcome to the lot of them.